So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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