you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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