Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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