Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
