why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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