At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
