If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
