Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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