oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
