I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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