I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
