it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
