I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
