Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
