also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
