they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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