I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
