Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
