Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
