I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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