bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
