Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
FUCK WHALES
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