The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
