oh god the rape fog is back!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
