My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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