Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
