Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
