Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
