Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Rumble strips road head = magical
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
