At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
