we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
