new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
