I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
