he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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