he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
