it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
