Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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