I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
