I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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