What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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