we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
