Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
