I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
