i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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