You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
