Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
nutella sex= disaster
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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