toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
