I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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