I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
