im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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