im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
